Disappointed

Have you ever feel disappointed with yourself and you believe that there's nothing good in you?
You think that no one in this world care about what you do because you don't care about them too.
People only care about the mistakes that you've done and their faces ignorantly keep on reminding you that you are nothing but worthless to them.
Have you ever try to reflect all the deeds and sins that you've committed but eventually you're stuck to a dead end?
You always wonder and ponder how this world and the people in it could become so evil but you might be ignorant about the cruel things that you have done to them too.
You think you've done your best to be a good man, but in the end, people still treat you like a scum.
Maybe they did not mean to treat you that way, but your feelings keep on telling yourself that they really do.
You feel disgusted with yourself and also the people around you.
But that abhorring feelings couldn't go away although you try to think there might be many more crueler people in this world other than you.
Are you cruel?
Maybe yes to some people, maybe not to some other people.
When you try to sleep, you commit the biggest lie.
You tell ALLAH that you've forgiven everyone who had done shits to you but when you wake up the next day, there's still hatred in your heart.
And when you bump into that person or any innocent strangers that are looking or behaving like them, you frown.
You frown and you get mad for no reasons.
You keep yourself quiet, and try not to believe that you have hatred in you.
Meaning you have the devil inside you.
But that feeling wouldn't just fade away and leave you in peace.
You cry and plead Allah to make all these stop, but God only helps those who help themselves.
So, please ALLAH..give courage in the heart of everyone of us who has this kind of feeling to let us help ourselves. Please ALLAH...bestowed upon us kind and forgiving hearts...keep us close to You...we're all just want to live in PEACE. 
Amin...