Soliloquy

Assalamualaikum wbt to all loyal readers...


Mood: Tak tau...gembira dalam kesedihan...


Aku sebenarnya tak tau nak tulis ape...
Tiba-tiba aje jari ni pergi tekan 'New Post'
Tiba-tiba aje rasa nak luah kat belog..
Sebab tak ada listener yang betul-betul faham aku...
Baik aku tulis kat belog...
Sebab ada pembaca yang setia...
Walaupun korang tak kenal aku..
Korang tak faham perasaan aku...
Tapi korang tetap baca belog aku kan...
Termasuk ummi (terima kasih ummi..pembaca belog malina paling setia..I love you and abi more than anything else in this world)
Huuuu...
Sekejap rasa nak nangis...
Sekejap senyum bila tengok member buat lawak sengal...
Ataupun senyum tengok diri sendiri yang bodoo..
Haha...aku gila...
Aku rasa sedih...
Bila atok takde...
I am trying to get over this...
Atok dah pergi tinggalkan kami...
Aku dah tak ada atok soya lagi....
Kalau balik Batu Pahat, aku takkan nampak atok lagi duduk-duduk pegang tasbih hijau...
Tak dapat makan masakan atok especially epok-epok atok...


TOLONGLAH WEY!
PLEASE GET OVER THIS, LEEN!


Aku sedih
Tapi hidup mesti diteruskan...
Oh, beginikah rasanya bila kita kehilangan orang yang tersayang?
Sedihnya...

Ya ALLAH...Tolonglah aku ...aku nak lenyapkan kesedihan ini...bantulah aku ya Allah...Kuatkanlah jiwa aku...Hidupkanlah semangat aku untuk terus belajar...

Hmm..kalau atok nampak aku sedih-sedih, mesti atok pun sedih...
Atok suruh aku belajar...belajar...
belajar...
belajar...
sampai tahap tertinggi...

Ya ALLAH...

Tunaikanlah hasrat murni aku ini...

Untuk mencapai impian...

Kuatkanlah jati diri aku ini ya ALLAH...

Kaulah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Pengampun...

Ampunkanlah daku...

Cucurilah rahmatMu ke atas roh atokku...

Tempatkanlah atok ke dalam Jannatul Firdausi...

Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin...

Atok Pergi Juga...

Atok...
Atok ampunkan Ina kan?
Atok pergi masa Ina takde sebelah atok...
Atok...
Ina ingat pesan atok sampai akhir hayat Ina...
Ina ingat semua yang atok pesan...
Atok...
Ina mintak maaf ...
Ina sayang atok..
Ina dah cakap bayak kali hari tu
Kalau boleh Ina nak cakap hari-hari
Yang Ina sayang atok...
Atok...
Ina tak boleh balik BP untuk ke majlis pengebumian atok...
Ina tak mau tengok jasad atok disemadikan...
Biarlah kali terakhir Ina tengok atok ialah semasa atok masih bernafas lagi...
Ina tak sanggup tok...
Atok...
Walaupun atok dah tak ada dengan Ina sekarang..
Atok masih hidup dalam lipatan kenangan Ina...
Atok...
Ina tak puas jaga atok hari tu
Ina balik cepat sangat...
Ina rasa bersalah ni tok...
Atok maafkan Ina kan tok?
Atok...
Kenapa air mata ni tak boleh berhenti tok?
Maafkan Ina kerana menangisi pemergian atok...
Ina terlalu sayangkan atok...

"Ya ALLAH...

Kau cucurilah rahmatMu ke atas roh Allahyarhamah Hajah Zawiyah Binti Ali..Tempatkanlah dia dalam kalangan orang-orang yang beriman...Kuatkanlah semangat kami yang masih hidup ini...Ampunkanlah dosa-dosa atokku, Ya ALLAH...Masukkanlah atokku ke dalam syurgaMu ya Allah...Abadikanlah kebahagiaan atokku di sana Ya Rahman...Semoga kami bertemu lagi di sana...Amin ya Rabbal 'Alamin..."

Al-Fatihah untuk Hajah Zawiyah Bte Ali...Her soul had departed peacefully at 3.30 pm on 25th September 2010. May ALLAH swt Bless her and placed her among the soleh and solihin in Jannnatul Firdausi...Insya Allah...Amin...

A Dork who used to be an Avid Reader

Assalamualaikum wbt to all my dearest readers!

I miss my old self. I don’t know why I said this but I really miss the old Amalina Sulaiman. I always think what I am doing right now, right here, is not really who I am. I used to be very perky in reading but now, ever since I chose to take TESL as my main course, I don’t think my interests in reading is growing any longer. I am such a phony. Sometimes, I don’t want to be my old self since I think that the old Leen is such a big fat NERD.

I read too many books... I was way too obsessed with books. Books were the only medium to bring happiness in my life. I love people giving me books. 

Even for my birthday, I asked my mum and dad to just buy me two or three copies of Enid Blyton's, RL. Stine's, since well, THAT would be more than enough to kill the boring 2 weeks I faced in school. I was such a book’s slave back then.

my Childhood obsession...her pieces are the BEST!

I owned this book but kena rampas masa spot check kat sekolah dulu...huuu

One of Ahern's pieces that I luurrvvee the MOST!

I can remember how I begged my SI pal (Secret Identity) to buy me this kinda set of Charmed books series but instead I got the book by Francine Pascal called Fearless due to the financial problem. Haha. That happens when I was in Form Two... silly dork...Of course I couldn’t have the series which cost more than RM100! 

And! Don’t laugh after reading this. I used to wear 4 inches of flaring, red lipstick which was my mum’s just to kiss at the back pages of my entire story books so that it won’t get stolen. My kisses are like my own personal cap mohor to the whole collections of books [oopps sorry ummi…I know you can’t recall this because I took your lipstick without your permission because I know you won’t let me wear it.] 

Muaahhh to all my books! Haha!

But now, I am NOT that kind of a geeky gal anymore. I think I read books for just the learning purpose. Yep. We’re taking TESL, and reading is just a complementary to success in exams. If I don’t do reading, I’ll be a dead meat.  I am very encouraged by lecturers especially Madam Razimah who really into this kinda old thing asking us to read more. Well, reading is NOT a THING; it’s a missing piece of me. Sometimes, I just have the feeling of looking at myself in the mirror and shout, “Yeah Leen. Bravo! You are really cool for NOT reading thoroughly the Mango Season and those books that need a thorough reading just because you are afraid that your bunch of friends will call you NERD, GEEK whatsoever! You think that you are going to be happy like this?  You are such a big jerk, Leen! Bravo!”

Holy cow, yep. I really AM a big, fat, ungrateful, JERK! Period. And I am FAKE too. So beware of me. [Tsk, tsk, tsk]

I hate myself for doing this. I loathed my old hobby of reading books and see now! I am such a sucker in writing! I don’t know what in the world I am writing now. I guess even the lecturers would’ve think that I am such a sucker in writing essays.

But literary, I am now Nicholas Sparks and Stephanie Meyer No. 1 Fan! Plus Ramlee Awang Murshid!! All of them are totally legends! I am trying to be an avid reader once again.

Say hi to Stephanie Meyer!

I adore all of his pieces! They are epics!

Hmm...well you know what? It's just sooooo hard to transform again into the old me.  And again I repeat...I miss the old geeky Leen aka Amal. Haha why am I writing this crap eh? Ugh~but seriously, to be blunt, I just want to be an avid reader once again. Now, I am slowly trying to adapt my old rusty mind with books one more time. And oh! Obviously, I still love to read motivational books which give me a lot of inspirations in facing this tiring life. Huh..well, truly...life IS a bitch.

Ok the end. Nothing else to write on.[Why am I writing this crap?]

ok bye2! salam...

Trying to Let Her Go...

Assalamualaikum wbt to all my dearest readers..


Hari ni dah pun masuk hari raya ke-4...
Tapi aku still rasa macam tak raya pun 
Screw all the baju raya, kuih raya and ketupat!
Screw orang cakap Johore raya sebulan!
Screw my two weeks raya holiday because it's inadequate!
Kalau mood keluarga bagi tahun 2010 ni ialah 'minta maaf, raya tahun ni hanyalah pergi sembahyang raya sahaja', I would've expect it earlier...
And I don't mind about it at all
Because ape yang penting sekarang ialah atok, atok and atok
Itu sahaja. Titik noktah.


Firstly, I would like to apologize kalau ade antara pembaca aku yang mengharapkan entry bumper aidilfitri yang aku dah uar-uarkan before ni. Minta maaf sangat-sangat, entry tu actually dah separuh siap tapi I am not going to post it because it is not alligned with my mood for raya now.
Bagi aku sekarang ni, raya hanyalah pada hari raya pertama sahaja. Hari-hari lain; biasa...


Bukan kami tak nak sambut ...erti raya bagi pendapat aku ialah kita pergi ziarah saudara-mara yang jauh and saling bermaafan, isn't it? Tapi, tahun ni, saudara mara yang jauh pulak datang melawat rumah Auntie Nah di Johor untuk ziarah...ziarah siapa? Ziarah atok yang sedang tenat....so bak kata abi bila aku tanya nak pergi beraya saudara kat Kluang tak, abi jawab 'tadi kan baru Auntie Rose [family kat Kluang] datang ziarah sini [rumah Auntie Nah]...'


Erk, before tu untuk makluman, aku and family aku had spent the whole 3 days of Raya kat rumah Auntie Nah because Atok is being nursed there. Minggu lepas pun kami ada datang jugak untuk lawat atok. Keadaan atok, it is...worsening...


Atok....


Entry ni aku tak nak cerita sedih-sedih because ummi had already told me not to put sad story about atok in here. There are already too much tears and sorrow now so no need to add more ...it will only cause greater pain and somber if any of my relatives read this.


Raya tahun ni memang terlalu berbeza jika nak dibandingkan dengan raya-raya yang lepas. Yelah, dulu atok ada untuk masak juadah raya bagi kami yang pulang ke kampung ni...Semua bila balik mengharapkan air tangan atok...And semua sekarang ni dah mula merindui air tangan atok...


Kami tak tau yang kaki kanan atok sakit sebab blood clotting and gangrene. Ingatkan gangrene hanya menyerang pesakit diabetes aje. Atok takde diabetes so bila tiga jari di kaki kanan atok turned bluish, some of us expected that it is caused by the cold. Besides, the foot is so cold, colder than the left one. Maybe ramai tak tau kan ape itu gangrene. Gangrene is a term that describe the death of an area of the body. It is develop when the blood supply is cut off to the affected part as a result of various processes; infections, vascular diseases, etc. The most common parts of the body that usually being attacked by gangrene is the toes, fingers, feet and hand. Click here to read more about gangrene.


Misalan kes atok, gangrene tu dah kacau atok punya jari and since it is very acute, within 3 days dia dah sampai ke peha atok. Sekarang doctor dah bagi kami dua pilihan, which is for us, the choices given are actually wouldn't make any difference. The choices are;

1.  Cut her leg [sampai pangkal peha atok] to stop the development of gangrene. All of us found it nonsense! Nak aniaya atok ke apa? Kesian atok. But doctor had reminded us, she still cannot guarantee that atok will survive after the operation due to the other contributing factors towards the healing of the wound . Sebab atok is 83 already and the new cell development is so slow and we're afraid that the chance for her to survive will be shortened.
2. Just let her be that way; bedridden. Treat her as usual and let the fate play its duty. The gangrene will continue to develop and as what the doctor said, it will be the source of infections. The doctor also had reminded us yang ini pun sama; The chances for atok to survive is very very low.

So, of course semua da sepakat untuk pilih the 2nd one. Siapa yang mampu tengok atok hilang kaki di saat saat akhir macam ni. Kenapa nak seksa atok lagi kan? 

Oh my God...Memang waktu doctor bagi kami pilihan tu, I can see that all of us were totally flabbergasted. Nak ditelan mati emak, nak diluah mati bapak.

Susah nak terima kalau hakikat dah mengatakan yang  Raya ni adalah raya terakhir kami bersama-sama dengan atok.

Aku tak boleh lah cerita lagi. Banyak sangat cerita sedih....

Ya ALLAH...Kau permudahkanlah segalanya....

Atok...kami semua sayangkan atok, tok...Kami tak nak tengok atok menderita sakit..

Ina sayaaaaaaannnnggggg atok!!!!!!!!!

Meow..! Grr..Learn your cat's languages

Assalamualaikum wbt to all my dearest readers!!


Today is the third day of Hari Raya hols [although it's not Raya yet]
And I am extremely happy to be here with my family!
Plus, with their big surprise of adopting a she-cat in our home
Abang Long is the one who found Tini, roaming in our garden when he got back home at late night
He almost knocked her down when he wanted to park his motorcycle
That's when he heard a tiny sound of meww- kinda cat's calling for help.
He found Tini and she seems so tame that we assume someone [her first owner] had chased/ threw her away.
So, we took pity on her and decided to have her as our house pet.
I am very grateful to have Tini as our companion!! ;)
Huhu it's because we haven't adopted any cat as our pet since Tompok died..in 2005 if I am not mistaken


We call the cat Tini since she seems like to be called as that- she kept mewing and purring when we called Tini! Tini!
Ummi said Tini sounds so gedik but yes- she IS gedik anyway- what's the issue?
hehe!


Well, now, PRESENTING, TINI!!!:

Huhuuu!

Well,,Tini ni sangaaattt lah manja ok?

Habits: Licking people's fingers especially thumbs, Kissing and licking people's faces.haha

Bad habits!: Scratching ummi's furnitures and carpets [ummi is very mad about this ;p] and biting my chin! awww! 

I know, you guys will assume that this Tini is such an incurably cute thing, living on this planet Earth, aren't ya?

I know, I know..haha..

So, starting from the day I had Tini as my pet, I started to learn more steps and ways to communicate with cats. 

Here are some of the steps. Happy reading, pals!

glitter-graphics.com

Step 1: Listen to your cat. If you watch what your cat is doing when it meows, you may learn to distinguish which meows are associated with which requests (or protests) and eventually know the difference between a "let me out" demand and a "give me food" demand by sound alone. Each cat is different and may have its own variations, but some common meows can include:

• Short meow: standard greeting.

• Multiple meows: excited greetings.

• Mid-pitch meow: plea for something.

• Drawn-out mrrroooow: a demand for something.

• Low pitch MRRRooooowww" a complaint or displeasure.
• High-pitch RRRROWW!: anger, pain or being fearful.

• Chatter (rapid teeth-chattering): excitement, frustration.

• Chirrup (a cross between a meow and a purr with rising inflection): friendly greeting sound, often used by a mother cat to call to her kittens

• Purr: Invites close contact or attention.

• Hiss: A serious sign of aggression.

Step 2: Watch your cat. Since cats are more "fluent" in body language, certain gestures will accompany vocalizations to reinforce their message.

• Tail straight up or straight up with a curl at the end: Happy.
• Tail twitching: Excited or anxious.
• Tail vibrating: Very excited to see you.
• Tail fur sticks straight up while the tail curls in the shape of an N: Extreme aggression.
• Tail fur sticks straight up but the tail is held low: Aggression or frightened.
• Tail held low and tucked under the rear: Frightened.
• Dilated pupils: Very playful or excited. It can also mean aggression
• Slowly blinking eyes: Affection, indicating the cat is comfortable with whomever might be around them.
• Lifting the nose and tilting the head back slightly: "I acknowledge you." Cats sitting in windows may greet you in this manner as you walk by.
• Rubbing against you means they are marking you as their own.
• Wet nose "kiss": An affectionate gesture when the cat taps its wet nose to you.
• Ears back: Fear, anxiety, or in a very playful mood, also used when sniffing something they want to know more about.
• Tongue flicks out slightly and licks lower lip: Worried, apprehensive.
• Rubbing head, flank and tail against a person or animal: Greeting ritual.
• Head-butting: Friendliness, affection.
• Face sniffing: Confirming identity.
• Licks you: The ultimate sign of trust. Your cat may consider you to be a part of his/her family, like a mother cleaning her kittens, or you just might have something tasty in your hand!

Step 3: Talk back. As mentioned earlier, cats are always learning how to communicate with us; the more we communicate with them, the faster they will learn

• Repeat the same word, sleep or bed, each time you go to bed, and eventually your cat will begin to associate the repetitive word sound with your actions, and may even get to the bedroom before you. Use the word shower consistently each time you are ready to take one, and eventually your cat may beat you to the bathroom and might even curl up in the sink to wait for you.
• If you blink slowly when making eye contact with your cat, they will usually respond by coming over to be petted, as it is a very non-threatening gesture.

Step 4: Be consistent. For example, a cat often "asks" before invading someone’s space, and a common blunder many pet owners make is to say "no", and pet the cat at the same time. This is very confusing to the cat. Instead, a very firm "Later" combined with gentle but firm push, without showing affection, will let the cat know that their presence is not desired at this time. Most cats will try 2-3 times to invade a person's space, often from different directions. When saying "Later", be patient.

• You can also develop a "command tone" to use with your cat when they are doing something seriously wrong. Use a voice that comes naturally to you, that you can replicate easily, but that is also distinct from your everyday talking voice. If you use this voice sparingly, but seriously, then your cat will learn to associate the voice with the idea that they are being naughty.
• Another easy "no" command that cats all understand is a quick, sharp, hiss or "spit" sound as is made by their own kind when they themselves say "no."

glitter-graphics.com

Time Tini tengah seronok2 camera-whoring..tiba-tiba datang la adek aku, Syakira the Vampayaarr..kacau-kacau Tini...hahaha! Seronok betul tengok gelagat diorang ni... <3 <3

Haha! Hope the steps given above are useful to you guys who are having cats as your house pets!
Besides, nak tambah sikit..cats are animals..and they are also included in ALLAH's creations- living on the same planet with us. So, we as human being should provide them with TLC (Tender Loving Care) because they need it to adamant their live journey ahead as an animal.

Hurmmm...hope you guys are enjoying this entry. I know the content is quite terabur because right now, Tini is playing with my broadband! [aishhhhhh..kacau la ko niee...] =__=

Ok la..till then I guess..

Before I end up this entry, I would like to wish you guys Selamat Hari Raya!

[psstt..tunggu..insyaAllah aku akan kembali dengan entry baru edisi bumper raya punyeee! syiookk!!]

Ok guys? Bye2!

Assalamualaikum ;)