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Saturday, March 5, 2011

JPJ road test

Bhahahahahaahahhaahhahahaha!


This post is specially made for my friend, Nurul Syafiqa Asrorie...[whoopss! haha..] who lately had failed the JPJ road test for the second effing time and had possibly gone insane with it (do read this tremendous essay that she wrote just after she failed the second test- clearly shows that she had grown nuts xDD)




I know it must be very hard for you to stay passionate in taking the third test for thinking of the fact that even an arse like me would've pass it with a flying color [okay- I am just exaggerating..] I know a brainiac like you should have probably done better.


Dear, Lady Luck would have hated you so much- you could have done anything that possibly had piss her off [did you meet a fortune teller?] or else for God's sake, she would likely had helped you out to pass the effing JPJ test. [Agak-agak, ko ni memang lah kena mandi bunga tolak **** kan...haha] 


But, whatever it is, just remember that success will normally begins with failure. You will only fail if you stop trying, ok nok?. [Do I sound like a motivator here, because I am actually intended to be one- haha!]


So here I am just love to share some tips to pass that sickening JPJ test (copy-paste from this web)



1) Obey the traffic lights.


Beating the traffic light will cause you to fail. So, do not ever do this during the test.


2) Do not attempt overtaking a bus that has stopped.

During a test, do not attempt to overtake a bus which has stopped. Unfortunately, many instructors fail to advice their students regarding this. Potential test candidates have often had their tests aborted for doing this.
3) Give way to pedestrians.

Failure to accord “right of way” to pedestrians during a test is certainly something unforgiveable, which means an immediate failure.
4) Steering wavering (unsteady).

The inability to control the steering well, will inevitably cause you to Fail. Therefore, you are advised to take enough lessons to ensure that you can handle the steering properly.
5) Overtaking at single or double line.

Absolute no overtaking should ever be done on such lines above. It will mean a failure to you. So, be patient. Remember, once again, no overtaking!
6) Forgetting to wear the seat belts.

Failure to wear seat belts is a definite failure. You will lose 5 marks. As 16 is the minimum amount of marks required to pass the road test, a 5 marks deduction will automatically bring you into the failure zone.
7) Engine dying off constantly.

A candidate who drives with an engine dying off too often, indicates his inability to control a vehicle. This not only irritates the tester, but it also gives the tester a poor impression of your ability to drive well.

In tests, a candidate should ideally prove his confidence to be able to drive well.
8) Stopping at junctions.

You should be able to stop at a junction correctly. First, stop approximately 2 meters behind the stop line. Do you stop at the left lane, the right lane or the centre?

Brush up your ability to stop well and correctly at a junction. This may very well be the gateway to securing your “P” license after all.
9) Using only one hand while driving.

This is one of the things that must never be done. Not only is it dangerous, it goes to show your arrogance as a driver. Doing this will definitely get you a failure that you very well deserve.
10) Do not come out of a junction if there are traffic from either sides.

To proceed out from a junction, with traffic approaching from either side, is not only dangerous, it tantamounts a driver being not careful and courting danger, thereby, inviting accidents.


Footnote: Don't forget your prayers! Allah helps those who help themselves. Smile and just be confident with yourself. All of us were born to be a driver so just think that driving is just a part of our human nature.  
Best of Luck to my dearest friend in taking your third JPJ road test, ok? May ALLAH help you always!
p/s: kalau ko pass untuk test ke-tiga ni, aku buat standing ovation untuk ko, ok? Mampu? haha

。◕‿◕。


10 comments:

iqapika said...

weyh!! ko mmg nak mati ngan aku kan? otak bengkak la tu..

hahha.. btw, thnx for ur warm support.. suke2.. i've never expected u'll adore my short story.. hehe

insyaAllah 17/3 aku ulang lagi.. pray a lot for me kayh??

iqapika said...

aku ada borang ujian tu siap ng drawing jpj tu lagi.. nak tgk?? mai la.. hokhok

Elle Who? said...

hahahaha!!! perlu ke tunjuk kat aku? btw, name peg jpj yg fail kan aku tu pon nasir...nas la jgak kan...mmg sume name camtu bengap an? hahahaha

A. Asyraf (asd_slade) said...

salam...Nasir lagi ke....aku pun fail moto sebab dia gak,,hahah

iqapika said...

nme tester ak pelik kot.. naslian.. dy nk cover dr ak bnci dy, dy bhskn dri abg.. taktik lama la tu.. heh

Elle Who? said...

athir: haha! yeke....nasir uh memang la wey....ak la yg bodo g kat dia masa nak test....boley je kalu nak lari...cikgu ak da warn da pasal dy tapi da nasib nk fail, nk wat camane lg an...haha

ika: haha...cet...si nasir yg failkan aku tu pun bahasakan dri dia abg...geli mek!!! haha

iqapika said...

hahha.. abang pakai spek itam... knon macho gilak a uh~

nasib xgarang.. poyo je..

Elle Who? said...

hahha....~ ko ni...x baik kutok suami sendiri...hahaha

ummi Amor said...

bengong3!!!laa..terbako sudeiihhh...beri saham percuma kat dia ke?
btw, sedekahkanlah al Fatihah buat abg Nasir awk tu, gitewww..hehe

Elle Who? said...

hahahha....ala ummi...dia hidup lg mi...sihat walafiat lg....hehehehehe